A Ritual To Read To Each Other

A Ritual To Read To Each Other

By: William Stafford

If you don't know the kind of person I am
and I don't know the kind of person you are
a pattern that others made may prevail in the world
and following the wrong god home we may miss our star.

For there is many a small betrayal in the mind,
a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break
sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood
storming out to play through the broken dyke.

And as elephants parade holding each elephant's tail,
but if one wanders the circus won't find the park,
I call it cruel and maybe the root of all cruelty
to know what occurs but not recognize the fact.

And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy,
a remote important region in all who talk:
though we could fool each other, we should consider--
lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark.

For it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;
the signals we give--yes or no, or maybe--
should be clear: the darkness around us is deep. 

I love this poem. 

It reminds me that I have a responsibility to stand out and make a difference in the world.

The poem reminds me of the traditions, cultures, and beliefs in life that we so often follow without a second thought.  For many, having a second thought is not an option.  For us, in the United States of America, having a second and third and fourth thought are encouraged and praised.  It is with this freedom to think and speak that we can express our ideologies and opinions in a way that others can be touched and changed. 

How important it is then, to be the kind of person that can break the pattern that holds so many in a frame of iridescent time. 

Whether a person has religion, morals or just feelings about being different doesn’t matter.  The fact that an individual “knows what occurs, but is still willing to “recognize the fact” makes things in this world change. 

Change is good and standing out has never been easier and better.  Each individual in this world is so vast and different that it is impossible to realize the potential in each one.  The times where great things have happened, is when one person realizes their own powerful potential and becomes the catalyst of change others could not be.

The United States of America has the First Amendment which encourages the differences we all bring to the table, yet it is still so difficult to ascertain why being different is so wrong, so hard, so different.  It contradicts the very core of the constitution that sought a change and fought passionately in the cause of a dream, a goal, a realization.

I believe this poem is a statement to all to be different, to realize the need and beauty of being different.  Expression, knowledge, ideas- they empower.  America has become great because of these ideals.

So next time we see someone, something different – instead of looking and cocking our head to one side, in a defiant judgmental way, I hope we remember that person is beautiful.  Beautiful because they have come to the realization who they are and what they stand for.  Let us stop being so discriminatory and indulge in the freshness someone else’s passion brings to the world. 

We are different – and its never been more beautiful. 

Another Day Past

It snowed this morning for the first time in awhile in Rexburg- officially marking the end of the semester and the beginning of Christmas holidays.  Its fun to watch students scattering the last day of the semester to finish exams, pack, and sell back textbooks.  Everyone is happy, hugging and completely stressed out.

I can't say I am any different, but this semester I am surprisingly more relaxed than normal and I know it is because I have been steadily working to finish things way before the deadline.  It's the best stress reliever I know.

I think back to last year and am amazed at how fast time has passed, and where it has led me. With graduation only 2 semesters away I am starting to feel the accomplishment of achieving another one of my goals - and with another line through the list, I need to add something new.

With Dane learning italian every night, I am reminded of the satisfaction of achieving goals and trying new things- and with New Years approaching its time to start thinking of the new things I want to add to my list.

I love seeing people work hard and find success.  It inspires me.

On the other hand- I hate seeing people settle and lose sight of what they are capable of achieving.  Its sad and unfortunately, it shows in their eyes.

Why do we settle for things?  Do we really think we are worthless or stupid?  Settling just says I am not capable of happiness. I think we limit ourselves more than anyone or anything else can.  Forget what you think you cannot do, and start making a list of the things you want to do - not thinking if you can.

We need to stop asking ourselves if we CAN do something - just do it.  You will be amazed at the beautiful results you will see -in yourself, in what you create, and what you learn.

The best part about it - you will be happy.  What more can you ask for?

  

It's Been Awhile

Well this morning I woke up and felt as though my body had officially resigned itself.  With no energy left to even remove the sweatshirt I slept in last night because I was so cold, I felt the heat permeating under my duvae and finally pushed and pulled till it was off and the clean cool air felt amazing against my skin. I pulled the duvae back over me and laid there thinking about ... everything.  I have this ability, or should I say problem with overthinking about a million things at the same time.  Somehow through all the thoughts, my mind must get tired and decides to put me to sleep because I always wake up later and wonder when or where I was in my thought process before I fell asleep.

Today was no different.

I came into the living room, tidied up the house and sat down in front of the burning fireplace DVD Dane and I bought for $5 at Walmart.  It's my favourite purchase lately. It's relaxing and helps me wind down.

This is the first post I have written since September and too many things have kept me from sitting down and recording it all.  Dane had mono at the beginning of October and was unable to swallow anything- including his own saliva.  After 3 days in the hospital, he was released and started to get better, but was off work for about 3 weeks.  Don't ask me how I didn't catch it.  I guess I may have already had it.
Just when things started to get back to normal for us, I was getting ready for work on October 29th and bent the wrong way just to find myself in the most excruciating pain of my life.  My right shoulder and right side of my back had shooting pain and numbness and even moving an inch felt like I was breaking.  After chiropractors, hospital visits, narcotics, an MRI and many wonderful friends and family who helped take care of me, I have been regularly seeing a physical therapist and will be following up for another visit with a bone and muscle specialist in Idaho Falls.

The diagnosis:  A bulging disc at the base of my neck and the shoulder part is still to be determined. My right arm and hand have been really sore and in a lot of pain.

I have been unable to do much.  I have spent the last month laying in bed and on the couch trying to do schoolwork for home.  Thankfully, my teachers have all been generously accommodating and I seem to be getting back on track.

I am tired and I am hoping for more resolution, but thankful for the new experience and understanding it has brought.  I am now able to move around fairly normal with the exception of sitting too long and lifting anything remotely heavier than a milk jug.  My independent spirit has definitely been whining inside of me for more and I wish I could do more.

Today I was reading my scriptures and came across Alma 9 that seemed to be full of reminders of remembering the Lord.  In particular I loved verse 17 that says, "for the Lord will be merciful unto all who call on his name."

As I sat here at looked around my little apartment, I realized how very blessed I am. We have nice things, a cute and very sparse Christmas tree, a beautiful nativity my mom gave me, we have food in our cupboards, we have warm clothes to wear and a heater that is loud enough to remind us when it comes on each time. Most of all, I have opportunities galore ahead of Dane and I and it's exciting.

Our very first Christmas tree - we got it ourselves in the mountains!

Our own makeshift fireplace (without heat) but definitely one of my favourite things

It is so easy to get caught up in the little day to day stress that sometimes seems to overwhelm and outdo us.  But, I realize as I put the Lord first in my life, he makes everything work out just right.  It's perfect. What more could I ask for.