Pain in the Butt!

I pulled the corner of the sheet tightly over the mattress as I heard the door shut upstairs and Dane's voice yell,

"Hil, can you help me look for a bandaid?"

I jumped over the mess of sheets and bedding on the floor and hurried into the bathroom where I was able to find a box with a few bandaids left in it.

"Are you okay?  What happened?"  I said as I ran up the stairs.

He had his hand placed tenderly on his hip and said, "I'm going to need you to pull out this nail."

Pause...

My thoughts go from a bandaid to pulling a nail out of my husband's bum. I don't know why those two don't seem to go together at this point, but I look at Dane and say "What?! You sat on a nail?"

Dane was helping his dad out with the roofing that day.  Everyone had left the house and Dane was still up their hammering away in the heat.  Unfortunately for Dane, as he sat down, the little bag of nails that was tied around his waist twisted and that one nail sat, point up - waiting.

The conditions were too perfect and Dane somehow managed to get off the roof with that nail in what he described on the phone to his dad as, "The place where your bum starts to form".

The nail was in at least half way or more and honestly, I wasn't really interested in pulling the nail out- he flinched everytime he touched the nail himself and I knew it would hurt him.  I hate seeing people in pain and I really don't like to be the one that inflicts it - even if it is to help them in the longrun!  I knocked on his brother's apartment door that is attached on their house and he wasn't home either, which may have been a good thing because I know his brother would have laughed his head off at Dane.

At this point, Dane pulled his pants down and ripped the nail out himself.  I couldn't believe it! Of course Dane was taking it like a man as I encouraged him to see a doctor - just to be sure it was okay!  While we were deciding if that was really needful I made him lay down on the floor and i put a hot cloth on the wound to clean it out.  Dane was making me laugh the whole time by saying, "My bum hurts."

After $20 co-pay and 30 minutes waiting, he waltzed out of Urgent Care with a bandaid on his arm from a tetnus shot and a sucker showing in his mouth as he grinned at me.

Only Dane.  I thought about if the roles had been reversed and I was the one with the nail in the bum.
Yup, I am glad it was Dane's bum and not mine.