Our Miracle Amber

My hand was starting to ache as I addressed another envelope and placed it gently on the growing pile taking up most of my kitchen table.  It was getting close to noon and I wanted to get as many of these done as possible before Dane arrived home from work that day.  Even though I had already thanked all the guests on my side, who graciously gifted us at our wedding in Canada, Dane had pushed his aside until I felt it was almost worthless to send them.  However, we all know that a thank you goes a long way, and we had a lot to be grateful for.  The Utah guests needed to be thanked too.

One leg curled under me, I felt my foot tingling telling me it needed more blood.  I licked another envelope, grabbed my hot chocolate and re adjusted my position just as my phone vibrated loudly on the table next to me.  I looked and saw it was my mother-in-law Kathy.  She must be responding to my earlier text to her this morning.  I pushed the answer key and greeted her enthusiastically. 

“Hey Kathy! How are you?”

I heard no response for a second on the other line and then a desperate voice that said, “Hilary, something bad has happened…Amber was in a bad car accident…She was lifeflighted to the hospital.” 

She was chocking back the tears that were pushing hard on her emotions.  She was on her way to the Ogden Regional.

“I need you to tell Dane.” She asked.

A lot of life changing experiences have happened this last week.  You know you hear stories of unfortunate events that change a family forever, but you never think that one day that family will be yours.  

On Wednesday, August 24, 2011, my husband's sister Amber was in a serious car accident with two of her children, Nate (4) and Emily (under 2).  Luckily, Thomas was at school and was not in his usual seat in the car.  Amber had been broadsided on her side of the car by an SUV and was life flighted to the Odgen Regional Hospital in Utah.  After being extracted from the car, her life was being held in the hands of God.  She was in terrible shape.  Broken neck, ribs and pelvis, punctured lung, internal bleeding and blood in her brain.  That was just the tip of her injuries.  On life support, the bruised and broken Amber was rushed her off to surgery as they tried to sustain her life.  

The moment I called Dane, he jumped in his car and came straight home where I was waiting with 2 bags packed.  We loaded the car and were on our way.  I have never experienced anything like the 3 hour drive and the days that followed.  I can't even imagine what Dane must have been feeling - as well as his parents, brother and her husband Ryan.  You never think that the moments you are walking out the door may be the last time you are going to see your sister, daughter, wife, or mother.   Luckily for us, Heavenly Father protected little Nate and Emily and spared their mother's life so it didn't have to be the last time.

We sat in the waiting room in the ICU area of the hospital and prayed together and individually for those hours as Amber laid helpless during her surgery.  The faith and prayers of everyone who knows and loves Amber was amazing.  We continued to get news of more people praying and fasting for Amber and I have no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father works miracles after the trial of faith.  Amber is our miracle and so is Nate and Emily.  

Amber is one of the most beautiful individuals I know. I haven't known her long, but for the short time that I have, I have been inspired by her loving and accepting personality.  She is beautiful inside and out. She takes her calling of a mother and wife seriously and goes the extra mile in sustaining and attending to their needs.  She is one of those people that has so many talents that you just hope to spend a few hours with her so that her wealth of knowledge will somehow rub off on you.  No matter what is going on, Amber knows the best way to handle the situation and she always makes me and others feel important, loved and content.  She is a blessing to whoever she meets and a strength to her family and friends.  I love Amber and I know I'm not the only one.  

I hope that her story will influence you to be a little better, or say "I love you" to your brother. I hope you let your friends and family know you appreciate them.  I hope you realize the hand of the Lord in your life and take the time to thank him and pay it forward by blessing the life of someone else.   

Thank you Amber for being the incredible person you are.  We love you. 

My Armadilla

This is my car.

A 1995 Saturn. Gold. Spoiler. Sunroof and CD player.

I have had this beauty since I was 20 years old (so for 6 years this August) and it has served me well. It has been on trips from Canada to the United States (as far as St. George, Utah) and back many times.  It has survived cold winters and floods and has kept me warm and cool when it has been required.  My little armadilla (knicknamed that by some friends years ago because they felt it resembled an armadillo) has been a huge part of my life so far!  Does it sound weird that a car could actually carry with it some emotional substance?  My armadilla has been with me through some of the most challenging and exciting years of my life.  She even has a few ice cream stains to prove it.  One reason she is so important to me is because I bought her with my blood, sweat and tears while I was going to college and working part-time.  I hate being in debt so much that I would take on extra shifts at work just so I could earn a few extra hundred bucks.  Then, when my pay check would arrive, I would pay my tithing and then put 80% of my paycheck towards paying her off.  Within one year of my purchase, I had paid for her myself and learned the satisfaction that comes through discipline and hard work.

Lately, other than sounding like a solar powered toy, she has been making some awful sounds and will stall when I stop unless it is in neutral or parking...so I took her into the shop to get checked out.

She is dying.

Apparently only 2/3 of her engine is working.  So with the little time I have left with her, I hope that as I drive her to campus everyday, change her oil, and fill her with gas, she will continue to love me the way I have loved her.  Thank you armadilla for the past 6 years.  I hope our last year together will be as memorable as the rest.

My Dane

Have you ever woke up in the morning and lost yourself in whether or not reality had anything to do with what you dreamed the night before?  This morning was one of those mornings for me.  I woke up and felt the emotion of something my mind knew was completely imaginative.  Funny how our minds can know something is unrealistic, but our emotions cause us to feel so deep that we convince ourselves otherwise.

Lucky for me, my weird dream about one of my brothers left quickly as I thought about what was real.

Dane. Today I laid in bed for 20 minutes after he left for work and thought about him. I realize I am biased to some degree, because everyone thinks they have married the most handsome, sweet and funny person in the world.  I am telling you the honest truth when I say that Dane is the most handsome, sweet and funny person in the world.  He is that to me and that makes its true.

After years of dating, it didn't take me long to know that I wanted to be with Dane and I realize more every day that I made the right choice in marrying him.

The other night we were getting ready to read the scriptures and he stopped, pinched himself a few times and said, "Wow I guess its really real."  He reminds me constantly of how lucky I am and I find myself thinking, "Wow, I guess its really real."  It was only one year ago that we started being close friends. I would have never imagined he would see something in me and feel it was worth all the time, energy and especially a plane ticket to France to come visit me last fall!

He still gives me butterflies when he walks in the door after work or going to the gym.  I feel so loved when he looks in my eyes and I see the sincerity and kindness that never leaves.  He puts me first and cares about even the minute details of my life.  His kisses mean something to me. Every single one.

Dane & Hil
courtesy of www.silverlinephoto.com

The best part about Dane and I is the fact that I know it will last forever.  There is a quote I love by Rumi that says, "Lovers do not finally meet somewhere. They are in each other all along." I have my own reasons for loving this quote, and there are many ways to interpret I feel, so I will leave that for my thought today.  If you are looking for love, be the kind of person you would want to love you. If you already have a love in your life - make sure you let them know it too.

Norm & Nadine Andersen
The perfect example of what love looks like
courtesy of www.silverlinephoto.com  

Memories

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY I said goodbye to my family, boarded a plan to London, then to Pisa Italy where I had the experience of a lifetime.  For some that followed my blog last year, I have a full account of my adventures in Europe ( http://www.myadventureineurope.blogspot.com/ ).  With a scarf tied securely around my neck, 3 suitcases and a backpack, along the intention to study french immersion in France after my visit to Italy, I jumped trains on my own praying that I would be able to carry everything with my skinny 5"3 frame.  Don't ask me how I was able to lug suitcases that weighed as much as I did up stairs, through foreign trains stations, all the while looking for words in English or French.   Somehow, things worked out. As I look back now, one year later, it was one of the most exhilarating and fulfilling things I have ever done.  It wouldn't have been possible if it wasn't for my parents who helped me fulfill this dream of mine. 

I write this today not only to remember, but to share the satisfaction that comes through achieving life goals.  Earl Nightingale once said, "The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment."

Nantes, France

Vanessa & I - one of my mission companions I served with in the England Birmingham Mission

The Louvre

Abbey & I in Stockholm Sweden

Sweden

One of my favourite photos - France

Cathedral in Nantes, France

London - seeing WICKED

Dane eating his first crepe

Versaille

Dane & I in PARIS

I guess with me I have always felt like if I want something bad enough, who is to say I can't have it.  I honestly cannot believe all the things I have accomplished in my life.  I never thought I would be 26 years old and be who I am today. I have grown, matured, experienced, laughed, cried and thought way too much. The passion inside of me has allowed for an amazing life so far.  I have chosen my path and I know that life will continue to get better and better.

World Traveller

Simona & I at The Leaning Tower of Pisa

Mona Lisa - I love this about Europe

A Taste of Italy

I think my expression says enough

Gelato

Making a wish at Ponte Vecchio

Beautiful Florence

Italy

Gelato is so good

Alessio & Simona - Simona and I were missionary companions in the England Birmingham Mission

A Work of Art - Florence

My Lazy Summer

Today I woke up a lot later than usual and was still pulling myself out of bed to get a drink because my mouth felt so dry.  I had missed a call from Dane, who had now been at work for hours, and I sheepishly called him back and talked to him for a minute before he had to get back to work.  This is my lazy summer.
Between cleaning up my already immaculate 2 bedroom apartment and doing the laundry, losing one of Dane's socks every single load - someone help me understand this!! -  I get some time everyday to sit down and work on my book.  It is a lot harder than I thought it would be to write a book.  I mean I knew it wasn't something I would just whip up in a few weeks, but I kinda thought I would just sit down and the words would flow from my mind right through my fingers in a beautiful pattern of letters that capture the hearts of readers worldwide.
Well, it's not working exactly like that.  I'm not giving up so easily though.  Yesterday I read what I had so far to my husband Dane and he encouraged me to do a few things a little different and I knew he was right about what I needed to change.  I didn't like hearing it -his criticism, but when you ask for it, you hear it and then you realize that what the person is saying is completely true, I end up feeling more offended that I didn't think of it, then the fact I need to improve sometimes. Hard things to hear are usually the most rewarding things in life - if we change.  And if you ask me, change is great, because it helps us grow and life seems to just get better.

CAMERICA

One year ago today I was getting everything sorted for my departure to study abroad in Europe.  I cannot believe how fast the year went by. Not only did I have the experience of a lifetime in Europe as I studied french immersion in France, made great friends, and ate crepes in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower,  I was able to visit places in the world that I had only dreamed of seeing.  Sweden, Italy, Germany, and back to England where a piece of my heart has stayed since I served my mission. Shortly after a whirlwind romance, Dane and I were married in the Cardston Alberta Temple on April 14, 2011.

Now it is August again and I woke up feeling the itch to jump on a plane with Dane and begin a new adventure somewhere new.  But as I sit here in my living room on hold with Verizon Wireless I realize I am living a new adventure here in the United States.  Being Canadian and not having a social security number seems to throw off everything I try to do here - phone accounts, banking, and even scholarships applications. So once again, I am in limbo land that I would now like to officially name Camerica.

Camerica is not a country. It has no flag or national anthem. It has no traditions or language. There are no driver's license or identification number because no one cares or needs one.  The people the live in Camerica have no identity because they don't belong in Canada or the United States of America.  If they go back to Canada, they cannot re-enter the United States, and if they stay in the United States, they cannot do so for long because you cannot do anything here without a social security number.

Hopefully in the next few months we will hear back from the United States of America and they will give me my travel papers and my social security number so I can leave Camerica.  It's boring here and I have no friends!

On a positive note, I was selected to receive a scholarship from Deseret Management Corporation for News Writing!  It will pay for one semester of my tuition here at BYU-Idaho. I was elated to hear I was chosen.  I took a chance by submitting my portfolio during a crazy finals week and am so happy that Dane encouraged me to do it after all my doubting.  It just shows that taking a step out of your comfort zone really pays off!